Learning to Treat Myself Better

Sometimes it's hard to put yourself first, other times you put yourself first too many times, but not always in helpful and healthy ways. Sometimes you think it's 'self-care' but really all you're doing is ignoring your problems, folding them up and carrying them around in your back pocket. Self care is not saying you're okay when you're not. Self care should be when you know you're not okay and accept it, but try to make life easier for yourself. Self care should be when you know you're okay but want to treat yourself even better. It's not always a simple path.

But we have a choice. You can do things to make your life better. You can try things, you can learn to let go of fear. If you don't expect much, if you go in with low hopes but high faith you can seriously help yourself. I know this because I have a tendency towards pessimism, I worry about how things are going to turn out, I don't trust myself enough, but I'm learning. I'm learning so much that I've a pull to tell you what I've been doing, and how I've been trying, and how you can too.

I've always wanted to try things, but I've always been too scared to. But I have a couple of things lined up that I'm so excited for now, and even though I'm really anxious about how they'll go and the amount of personal effort and will I'll have to produce, I am so ready to see what happens. I don't want to reveal too much, but to say that in a few weeks I'll be traveling somewhere on my own and when I get back, I'm signed up to try a new sport. I'm extremely shy and very unsporty, so these two things sound like they might be tough and I mighn't be that good at them, but every bone in my body is asking me to do them, for me. It just takes one decision and a little bit of planning to create such opportunities for yourself. I will soon let you know how these go.

I've been spending more time with my friends too, so small as a thing, but it brings me such joy. I'm an introvert so it takes me a lot of energy to make plans with friends and anticipate them and get ready, but once I'm there in the middle of the action, I nearly always have an amazing time. I'm so lucky with the friends I've made, that the older ones have lasted through my first year of college, that my new friends are so sweet to me, even though I can't see them much during the summer. It's taken me a crazily long time to realise that all the energy I need to generate to spend time with these beautiful people is more than worth it. And seeing them more just makes my heart so full.

Eating good food is such a mood booster too. One thing I've been trying to do lately is to have nice food available for breakfast. It incentivizes me to get up as I'm a big child and find tasty food exciting, but if you eat well at the start of the day, you'll feel better and try not to wreck it by eating rubbish later. Another thing I've been trying to keep in supply is face/hair masks. The ultimate treat yourself move, and they can be very inexpensive.

All of these things, small though they may be, have been helping me to feel better, and I hope they can help you too if you don't do them already.

Do you have any tips or advice to share?

With love,
Anna